from my treehouse......to the house across the street

Word Salad

2011-03-30T11:35:00.002-05:00

Promise

2011-03-13T12:28:00.002-05:00

That's garden dirt under those fingernails........the first of the year! By the end of summer I will have dug a half-bushel of dirt from under those nails, and scrubbed even more off my hands. Mind you, I really don't like the sensation of dirt drying on my hands, but I welcome it when it means that I've been yard work. Seeing that dirt under my nails last week gave me hope, a promise that there is more to come. More time spent outdoors than in, more time watching things grow, more time drinking in the sights and sounds and feel of my little yard. My yard. It's mine, and part of the promise is that I can (within reason) do as I wish with it.

I have collected empty wine bottles from friends and family to use as a border around one of my hosta beds. How simple to dig a trench, place the bottles upside down, leaving about 4"- 6" of the bottom above ground. Fill in the trench, and there you have it..........re-using and recycling. Because most of the bottles are colorless, I'm toying with the idea of playing around with alcohol inks before burying the bottles. It certainly calls for some experimentation!

There are many things I've planned for my yard this year..........the first will be a stone path from my porch to driveway. More ornamental grasses to landscape in front of the fence. The stone path and landscaping both mean more trips to the creek to collect rock, one of my favorite weekend activities in the Spring and Summer.

I spied this dandelion in my backyard last Monday. Seems to me that it's a bit early in the year to be seeing dandelions, but to tell the truth I've never paid close attention to typical dandelion season. I do know there are weeds that did not die over the winter, and have actually doubled in size since last Fall! Nonetheless, weeds are another piece of the promise. And, of course, evening sunlight tops my list of things that signal the beginning of life once again. To come out of dormancy, turn my face to the sun, and breath in the freshness of Spring.......these are the days that fill me with energy and excitement.

Here's to hope and the promise of Spring!

Spring Dreams

2011-02-27T19:25:00.003-06:00

I'm sure I'm not alone in my dreams of Spring! I am weary of the cold, tired of snow, and have had my fill of cold drizzle and rain. I'm ready to shed my winter jacket, put away my boots, and feel the lightness and freedom that comes with going out in my shirt sleeves!

Thoughts of being outside, feeling the sun on my skin, digging in the dirt, watching new life spring from the earth, all fill my head these days. Knowing that such days are just around the corner makes me impatient. I have planned my garden in my head, now I want to nurture it to life. I want to walk in the woods, spend time at the creek, and breathe in the freshness of the springtime air. I am waiting to fling open the windows and doors, to air out the staleness of winter. I am............................

dreaming of spring!

How To Be Alone

2011-02-21T20:36:00.000-06:00

A Couple of Old Guys

2011-02-19T14:13:00.003-06:00

I had breakfast today with a couple of old guys. I usually have breakfast on Saturdays with only one old guy, my dad. We went to the usual truck stop, but all the tables were full. My dad's usual table was occupied by an old guy who invited us to sit with him. Although he had finished his breakfast, he stayed and visited with us.

It's interesting, sitting at breakfast with a couple of old guys. Apparently this guy and my dad pass the time when they run into each other at breakfast time, but have never really had a conversation. Today they talked about farming, the value of land versus gambling on the stock market, and discovered a mutual acquaintance. The other old guy lives about an hour south of the truck stop, while my dad and I live about 10 minutes away. But I wasn't surprised when we discovered that the old guy knew my great uncle many years ago..........the six degrees of separation thing, don't you know!

My dad and I have been going to breakfast just about every Saturday since last fall. I didn't know it had become a regular thing until I heard that he considers Saturday. to be "our day." Since my sister told me that, I have made it a point to keep this important date with him each week. You see, my dad is 82 and had a lot of health problems last year. He's doing much better now, with mobility problems more than anything. But last year I acknowledged the inevitability of the eventual loss of him in my life, so it's important to spend time when I can.

I wasn't close to my dad when I was growing up; he worked a lot, usually second shift, so I didn't even see him much during the week. He kept himself busy on the weekends working in his garage, hunting or fishing, or working on home improvement projects. My brother and sister had his attention and presence when he began working day shift, but by then I was out of the house. To have the chance to have a relationship with him now, to spend time together, to have "our day," is truly special. There might have been two old guys at the table this morning, but only one I really care about!

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T10:23:00.003-06:00

A sweet Eli's Cheesecake, tiny enough to fit in a 6" x 6" box. Yummm.........made in Chicago, by hand, in small batches. Absolutely delish, and my favorite, white chocolate raspberry. Awesome!

The whole idea of this day is baffling to me. Shouldn't everyday be Valentine's Day? Why just have one day to celebrate the ones we love? And shouldn't we take some time each day to celebrate being loved? Why only one day to let people know they matter, that they're important to us, to have some romance and excitement? What if that was part of who we are, and how we are, each and everyday? Who are the people you love, and how can you let them know for the next 364 days? Who loves you, and how will you celebrate that between now and next Valentine's Day?

This is the Only Time I Have..........

2011-02-13T09:07:00.002-06:00

I struggle, sometimes, with time. Too much of it, not enough of it, deciding what to do with it. I frequently become almost immobilized when it comes to deciding how to use my time. That doesn't mean that I don't have things I want to do.....not by any means. What often happens is that I have many things that I want and need to do, but I know I can't do everything. I get caught up in trying to decide, weighing the pro's and con's of each option. In the process, I lose time, and find that I don't have enough of it to do what I finally decided I want to do!

Sometimes time is not the issue. Sometimes the issue is lack of motivation and passion. At those times, it seems as if there is far too much time to try to fill. There is a sense of restlessness, almost boredom, as I search for something to light a spark of creativity, interest, maybe even passion.

At other times, I know exactly how I want to fill my time, but find that I have to get other things out of the way first. For instance, I would like to flank my entertainment center with shelves. My motivation to actually tackle the project, however, is interrupted by the knowledge of all the things I have to move out of the way first! Occasionally, I will clear the way for doing something, only to find that I've completely lost interest in the time it took to do the first step. This is a function of my attention deficit disorder. Even with medication, I find that I can maintain focus on something for short periods of time......even when it's something I'm highly motivated to do.

Today I want to do laundry and a few other household chores. I want to go spend some time in my office and run a couple of errands. I need to do some grocery shopping. I also need to be outdoors, moving snow so it will run downhill toward the alley as it melts, rather than running along the foundation of my house. I also need to go under the house and replace my furnace filter, and my front porch light needs to be changed. I also want some play time, making a collage or drawing.

Sometimes, like today, the solution lies in just deciding to start doing something rather than trying to prioritize. I have a feeling this will be an ADD day, bouncing from one activity to another, gradually throughout the day managing to finish most of what I start.

Maybe one of the reasons that "time" is on my mind, maybe one of the reasons I'm connecting with feelings of restlessness, is that I'm just tired of winter! I'm ready for warm weather, being able to spend seemingly endless time outdoors. I'm ready to dig in the dirt and plant things. I'm ready to fling open the windows and put away the winter coat and jacket. I'm ready for the sounds of birds and the sight of leaves budding out on the trees. I'm ready for something different from the cold and snow.

Because this is the only time I have, I will do my best today to make the most of it, whether I feel passionate and motivated or not!

It's Official..........

2011-02-03T07:14:00.002-06:00

28.8 inches of that amazing white stuff! According to the weatherman, it has now settled and compacted to a mere 17" to 23". I know I was digging through drifts that were nearly as high as my hips!

2011-02-02T16:53:00.004-06:00

2011-01-29T16:17:00.002-06:00

Do you see the heart in the peeling bark? I hope so! To me, it's obvious, but some just can't see it, no matter how hard they look.

I snapped this photo on a day in August, 2004, when I thought my heart was breaking. Feeling absolutely miserable, I drove to St. Louis on the spur of the moment. After some impulse shopping at Archiver's, I decided to spend some time with my younger daughter. As I was telling her about the experience I'd had earlier in the day, I looked up and saw this heart. To me, it was a comforting sign that I would survive, that my heart would mend.

You see, I had been "dumped" earlier that day by the man I believed to be the love of my life. I had met him in April, and by the end of May I was starting to fall really hard. We had a lot in common, from our career choices to our love of Jimmy Buffett's music. We talked on the phone a lot, saw each other frequently, and had a lot of fun together. Unbeknownst to me, he had begun seeing another woman. Of course, we hadn't made any commitment to see each other exclusively, but he had not been open with me about the fact that he was still our looking around.

I walked around, wounded, for a few weeks, but as promised by the heart on the tree, I healed. I knew I had become much stronger several months later when he came back, did the same thing, and found only a tiny scratch on my heart. I let him into my home, but not into my heart, when he showed up a year later.......because I knew what he was all about, and I like to believe that I know what I'm all about. The last time he attempted to connect with me was a mere few days before his wedding. I asked him to never imagine, now or at any time in the future, that I would have any interest what-so-ever in any kind of further contact with him. He made that promise, and has kept it.

There has been plenty of opportunity to reflect on that experience, and to learn a lot about myself. I know that I really liked the relationship I thought we had, and I know that I enjoyed the parts of myself that surfaced during that time. I learned that I can be hurt, and I can heal. When I told him that I didn't want him to attempt any contact with me, I thought I was saying something important about my feelings toward him. But it was really more about me.........isn't it always? I realized that seeing or speaking to him would put me in touch with my own vulnerability and humiliation at having been deceived. Now I feel much lighter as I think about that person, the times we spent together, and I realize that humiliation is totally unnecessary!

This post didn't go exactly where I thought it would when I sat down to write, but I guess it went where it needed to!

peace always...............

Collage Play

2011-01-16T10:00:00.002-06:00

I took a break from working to have some playtime yesterday. I don't know how my collage process differs from, or is similar to, how others approach this medium. There are two desk-top 2-drawer storage units filled with a stockpile of images, somewhat sorted and organized into categories. There is a stack of 3x5 cards with backgrounds already done. I quickly choose an image or two, then begin gluing. For these, I found words that relate somehow to the image, which also serve as affirmations/mantras.

Enjoy what you see here!

What You Didn't See!

2011-01-09T09:00:00.003-06:00

These are the parts unseen in yesterday's post..... the unsorted, unorganized, unpurged, the things that don't yet have homes.

It's okay! I really do focus on the parts and pieces that are finished and orderly. The unfinished is not entirely out of my awareness, I just choose not to emphasize that part.

My approach to life in general is revealed in what I just said. Unless there is something that has really pulled my attention to the negative, my focus is on the positive. It's a much more peaceful way to do things. The negative is not entirely out of my awareness, I just choose to keep it in perspective. Depending on what my priorities are on a given day, I might tackle the negative with a problem-solving approach, setting into motion a process of change. Or taking the next step in the process. I guess what's important is to remember that change is a process, sometimes going quickly, sometimes slowly, and to be aware of being in the process. Whether the process is bringing order to my studio, working through relationship issues, changing a bad habit, or healing a painful shoulder injury, it's all a process. And as long as I'm in the process, it's all good!

Excessively Excessive or Simply Over-abundance?

2011-01-08T15:15:00.002-06:00

Do I have nearly enough ribbon??? Six hangers full............I mean, is that really enough?

This is how I function........one is never enough, because if I use it I won't have the possibilities and potentials of it anymore. Or, what if I don't get enough to finish a project? It seems, at the time, like it's much better to over-buy than run short. It's important to prepare for the possibility that I will be lacking in inspiration, but if I have an abundance of raw materials I can look and touch, and become inspired. The one thing wrong with this plan is that I've spent so much time trying to get inspired that I'm too tired to create anything. And I've usually made so much of a mess that there's no physical space to create!

My second "bedroom" has three walls lined with cabinet and bookcases, with shelving up to the ceiling. The fourth wall has my work table placed in front of six feet of windows. There is a center island made from industrial shelving and cubbies. I've spent much of my spare time during the past 6-9 months sorting through, and organizing, papers, fabrics, tools, paints, books, magazines, found objects, and supplies. The following photos show some of the fruits of my organizing and sorting.

The studio closet has been outfitted with cubbies and drawers to contain my fabric stash and sewing supplies. Fat quarters have been separated from the 1/2 yard pieces, which have been separated from the 1 yard pieces. Quilting fabrics have been separated from dressmaking fabrics, which have been separated from the home decor fabrics, which have been separated from the fleece! When the time comes that all the cubbies and drawers are full, I'll have a self-imposed ban on buying fabric!

I'm working on changing my ways............I've begun buying only what I will use immediately, rather than seeing something that I think will be really cool for "someday." I'm really working hard at making it ok to use a favorite fabric or piece of paper. After all, using something makes it possible to enjoy and appreciate the object it's become.

Because this is an important issue in my life, my guess is I will re-visit it from time to time. In the meantime, seeing something that I could "do something cool with someday" doesn't mean I have to pick it up, buy it, or stash it away........

2011-01-03T17:46:00.004-06:00

Waiting chairs, East side Cozumel. What a wonderful spot for watching the surf, catching the sunrise, or feeling the sun set on ones back...................

This is Mezcalito's, a fun and funky restaurant/bar on the East side of Cozumel. Al fresco dining at its best.......food was great, the al fresco even better. If you want visual stimulation, you could sit for hours reading messages written in sharpie on every possible surface. The ceiling is covered with t-shirts left by travelers (there must have been lots of topless folk staggering out of the place at various times!), fishing floats, fishnet, rope, and anything maritime. Just to the south of the dining area hang three hammocks........a temptation after devouring the best quesadillas in the world.

Cindy, Keith and Clayton set off down the beach looking for sea glass and other small treasures. I stayed behind, enjoying my view of the endless surf. It's not often that I give myself over to the bliss of relaxing--no book, no tv, no phone conversation. Directionless thoughts, drifting on the invisible salty mist. No problems to solve, no serious thoughts being pondered. I don't know how long I sat, but it didn't seem to matter.......2 minutes or 20 minutes, I think it was all the same. Even though my mind was active, and I was keenly aware of the pleasure in sitting, I simultaneously lost touch with my thinking brain. All that I was aware of was the coolness of the shade, the sound of the pounding waves, the salty mist, and the warmth of the breeze. There was no time, there was no "me," there were only the moments of breathing in and out during which I was connected with the breathing in and out.

Endings and Beginnings

2011-01-02T14:26:00.003-06:00

So what does this photo have to do with endings and beginnings? Nothing. No, wait a second, that's not quite right. I was standing at the edge of the beach (the East side of the island of Cozumel), watching the waves roll over my feet, bringing sand and broken bits of things long lost with them. No sooner would one wave recede than another would wash up. Sometimes a wave would have just barely washed away when the next would be swirling around my feet. At other times, I seemed to be waiting, waiting, for the next wave to arrive. Some endings are subtle, others are not. Some things begin with little warning, while other times the waiting for the new beginnings is filled with the tension of anticipation.

Endings and beginnings seem to be appropriate topics for this weekend. After all, 2010 ended, and 2011 has begun. I've spent most of this weekend in bed with a bad cold, with the hours coming and going, having little awareness of time passing. I had to give it some careful thought to realize that this is the second day of the new year already. For me, the end of 2010 and the beginning of 2011 melded together in a fog of time.

I suppose lots of people give thought to endings and beginnings at this time of year. I know they certainly think a lot about beginnings--after all, what are New Year's resolutions for?

For anyone who has read my blog in the past, I'm sure it seems as though I had ended my blogging days. No, it wasn't an end, it's just been a really long pause between waves! But this, today, is a beginning, a return to blogging!

So what is it that I have been doing for the past 2+ years during this pause between waves? I struggled for well over a year with ill health that turned out to be exposure to some serious mold. In the midst of that, I made the decision to buy a house, because I had come to my quarter-century limit in my apartment. I bought the house very quickly, moved, then found myself surrounded by boxes and boxes of stuff that made me feel like a hoarder. What's one to do when one moves into a 900 sq. foot house with virtually no storage? One lives with lots and lots of boxes full of stuff while the place looks like the house of hoarders! In the meantime, one builds storage as time and money permit. And one sifts through stuff and stuff and more stuff, giving away, putting away, and throwing away. Two years and two weeks into the process of moving has left me with one small corner of the livingroom stacked with boxes. Most of the contents will begin living in the two storage cabinets that will make their way to my home in the next couple of days.

My house is actually featured in one of my long-ago posts (sometime in the Spring of '06). It is shown being put into place with a crane after being delivered on the backs of two semi's. I watched its arrival from my studio window, and watched as the finishing touches were put on it. This lot had formerly been home to a very large mid-19th century brick house that burned back in 2003. It was demolished after the fire, and the lot subsequently sold to someone who put up a little green house which was promptly put on the market. After 2-1/2 years of watching it be empty, I decided it must be meant for me!

Other than two large trees that give some shade from the late afternoon summer sun, there was absolutely nothing on this lot. The seller had done no landscaping other than having someone come with a riding mower (!) to cut the weeds every few weeks. Since living here, I have begun loving summer (not the heat or humidity, but the season in general). Once it gets warm enough to start getting outdoors, that's where I can be found any time I'm not at work. I love the long evenings of summer when I can spend several hours outdoors every day. During spring and summer, my energy goes into landscaping and yard work. Fall and winter find me indoors, working on "home improvement" projects.

I've learned not to be scared climbing a ladder to clean out gutters. I've learned how to hang shelves so they're level. I figured out how to change the "builders' grade" vanity light fixture to one that is more my taste. And I've learned about taking off baseboard without turning it to splinters. I've had the experience, with my sister's help, of building a storage shed.

Finally, after two years and two weeks into this process, I am beginning to really feel that this space is mine! Mine to enjoy, to express myself, to take care of, to live my life and love the freedom I have here.

Where have I been all my life?????

2009-08-09T09:30:00.003-05:00

It's a fact of life........mine, at least. From time to time I simply disappear from my own life. Like a shadow, there one minute, gone the next. This disappearance coincided with a major life change: moving from the apartment where I lived for 25 years to the new little house across the street. Nine months later, I am still overwhelmed by the sheer volume of my "stuff." The livingroom and studio are still stacked with boxes and unusable for the purpose for which they were intended.

Apparently I have taken a step back into my life; I would not be posting if that weren't the case. I have made bits of progress in the past week or so---another indicator of being back in my own life.

From time to time I will post on my progress, although I don't promise to post "before" photos. That might make me feel far too vulnerable!

Falling Back

2008-10-31T08:31:00.002-05:00

It's been tough the past few weeks, trying to pry myself out of bed when there is so little light. Seems like the day is half gone by the time the sun lights my windows. So, for that reason, I am happy to set the clock back this weekend. On the other hand, night will come so quickly. It's dark much of the time when I get off work, anyway, so it won't make a lot of difference then. I notice the difference late in the day when I am out making a home visit to a new place on a country road, or a poorly lit neighborhood. I take that, though, as one of the challenges of my job, and try to look at it as an adventure rather than an inconvenience.

I enjoy coming home from work at this time of year, in the dark, with a chill in the air. Walking into the warmth and light of my home gives me comfort. I am invited, once the dog has been walked, to cozy up in bed with a book or movie. An Autumn such as this is to be savored, being in the moment, without thoughts of what the next few months might bring.

Drink in the glory of this season!

Misunderstanding(?) Leads to Challenge

2008-10-14T20:59:00.002-05:00

My Sister made an erroneous statement in her post on our trip to Glacier that I would like to take the opportunity to clear up. After our traditional trip to Polebridge for wonderful, fresh-from-the-oven, delectable pastries and some of the best coffee in the world, we wandered by narrow, twisting, rutted gravel road to make our acquaintance with Bowman Lake. With the exception of a couple other explorers, the lake and nearby campground were blissfully silent. The campground is smaller than our usual hangout at Apgar, and far more people in tents than in 35-foot RV's. Quiet. A bit more remote. A lot more peaceful.

Kathy said that we stay at Apgar campground because her sister (that would be me!) is spooked by the possibility of bears. Ha! She doesn't know me as well as I thought. Here's the real story: I will admit to being spooked about bears on our first trip there, and did get a bit freaked out at all the rules--especially the one about not going to bed in the tent in clothing that might have been worn during cooking or eating. Damn, that messed things up for me right there, especially when it was very strongly suggested that no food be taken into the tent. Man, one of the things I really like to do while camping is to make a really large mug of herbal tea, take it and a couple of cookies into the tent, and enjoy the snack while cozying up with a good book.

I ended up, that first year, being much more frightened of the campers in the neighboring spot--a busload (ok, minibus, there were only three guys) of drunken foreigners who seemed to want us to be real neighborly with them. Kathy brought her hatchet into the tent, and I found a nice big rock---just in case the neighbors lost their way in the dark and stumbled through our tent.

Interestingly enough, Kathy caught sight of Harry, a black bear, the following day while out kayaking. Harry was known to the rangers and the residents along Lake McDonald, and they routinely chased him away from the Apgar social scene. Another bear was spied by some other explorers in the park later in that week, and they were kind enough to stop and let us know of the bear's presence near our picnic spot!

Because I had safely made it through that first camping trip to Glacier without losing any limbs to hungry wildlife, I didn't even consider getting bear spray for the next trip there. Of course, I wasn't about to break any of the safety rules, and I wasn't going to get careless, but I was more relaxed. The following year found me experiencing very little anxiety about the possibility of an encounter with a bear. Maybe it was because our mom was there with us, and I knew she would sacrifice herself to save me!

Don't get me wrong, please. I have not adopted a totally cavalier attitude about the possibility of running into a variety of dangerous situations while in the mountains and back country. I've also decided that it doesn't make any sense for me to trade the bliss of being in the woods for gut-wrenching, twisted and knotted up inside, off-the-charts anxiety. I'll wait until I actually see the bear---or the cougar or mountain lion or whatever---to let fight or flight take over.

Staying at Apgar has nothing to do with being afraid. It's all about comfort---it's a quick walk to the village and a cafe mocha (four shots of espresso, please!) or huckleberry ice cream cone at Eddie's Store! They don't have that at Bowman Lake, but by golly, I'll forego those comforts and camp at Bowman next time---unless, of course, our mom is with us again!

Growing a Forest

2008-10-14T15:42:00.002-05:00

I remember being in Mrs. Dewell's fourth grade class at Dewey School. One of our projects that year was to write letters to Smokey the Bear; in return, we each received a packet filled with treasures (stickers, junior forest ranger badges, coloring books). At about the same time, my Girl Scout troup learned about building, and safely extinguishing, campfires. After all, according to Smokey, "Only YOU can prevent forest fires!"

Over the years, I imagined careless smokers tossing out their butts, which would land squarely atop a pile of dried leaves and twigs. There would be just enough breeze to gently fan the flames, that would then completely wipe out a forest and every living thing in it. I imagined someone walking away from a smoldering pile of leaves in the Fall just as the breeze picked up and carried burning embers to do their damage as far as the eye could see. Paranoia took over each time I stood, warming myself, at a bonfire. Anxiety brought on heart-pounding shortness of breath as I imagined these relatively small fires raging out of control.

You see, I believed Smokey the Bear. I believed his words of warning and fought back the desire to pile kindling and strike a match. But I know there is now another truth, as well. Not all fires are caused by humans and their carelessness.

My sister and I were traveling cross-country in 1994. In a Wyoming storm, as we drove down the Interstate, we watched a bolt of lightening make its way from the heavy clouds to the field at the side of the highway. Our jaws dropped as we watched a huge patch of dried grass and brush became a ball of flames. A fellow traveler stopped along the road, and appeared to be making a call (back in the day, neither of us had a cell phone yet, nor knew anyone who did have one!) for help.

Long before humans ran around being careless of their surroundings, giving little thought to their impact on this Earth, there were forest fires and brush fires, started by none other than Mother Nature herself. Granted, people can take action to extinguish fires, or at least attempt to contain them. But human intervention makes little impact sometimes...............the fire spreads too far or too rapidly before anyone can take action.........the wind pushes the fire along faster than water can be brought in to halt or slow its progress.

The first photo above is Lake McDonald in Glacier National Park. You can clearly see the scarred hillsides from the fire that claimed the mountainside several years ago. The second photo (stolen from my sister's blog, and taken from an entirely different location--sorry, Kathy!) shows the miraculous beginnings of the forest as it regrows itself.

My recent trip to Montana and Glacier with my sister was not the first time I had seen the ravages of a forest fire. On that same cross-country drive in 1994, before witnessing the lightening strike, we drove through Yellowstone. A major fire in the late 1980's left a good deal of the mountainsides scarred, with the damage still appearing fairly fresh. It was during my recent trip to Glacier, however, that the miracles taking place in the wild, truly hit home. Free of human "intervention", interference, or invasion, this Earth has the ability to be self-sustaining!

Kathy and I drove one morning through the burned out area that is visible in the top photo, climbing high enough on the unpaved road to get a panoramic view down the mountainside. Tall, and still appearing strong and solid, the bare, blackened trees stand. The floor of this burnt forest, in sharp contrast, was a lush green carpet that looked like a thick velvet carpet. The ground was a solid mass of young pine trees, looking to be between 12 and 18 inches in height. In many places the roadside was filled with color: yellow, pink, purple, deep red, white, perriwinkle, and fresh Spring-green. Even at the end of the first week of September, in that Northern location, and at higher altitudes, the wild flowers still turned their faces to the heavens.

I have read that, during a fire, trees react in a way that is designed to protect their innermost layers: beneath bark and outer layers, the tree twists, as if trying to make itself as small as possible in hopes of surviving. I believe this. And I believe this gift of creation is the trees' intelligence. I keep a twisted, gnarled piece of tree branch helps me remember my own resiliency.

The little hairs on the back of my neck stand up as I think about how many years, decades, even a half-century or more, those pinecones lay dormant on the forest floor---or underneath it---waiting, waiting, waiting.............

Another Piece of Heaven

2008-10-01T08:03:00.003-05:00

Although I've stood in this place many times over the past 10 years, my heart skips a beat as my breath catches slightly in my throat, and my eyes tear just a bit, as I catch sight of Lake McDonald. There is peace and stillness in this place that feels as old as Time itself.

At the Top of the World

2008-10-01T07:27:00.003-05:00

My sister, Kathy. In this place, called the "backbone of the earth" by the Native Americans who once roamed through these heights, we were close to Heaven. The time spent here was sacred and nourishing, with everyday miracles unfolding and surrounding us.

View From the Top

2008-09-29T08:00:00.002-05:00

View from Highline Trail, Glacier National Park.

This day.........

2008-09-28T16:13:00.002-05:00

What is it about this day that has me feeling lonely, unsettled, disinterested? Why today and not yesterday? Or the day before............

I do know that:

I'm looking forward to the days when the air has lost its tropical haze.

My body has been repeatedly assaulted during the past 11 months by some mysterious, un-named, possibly unidentifiable, condition that has sent me to bed for days at a time. Although much less troublesome now than six months ago, I still fall prey to the lingering presence.

Loneliness and boredom rarely come to visit. They made their way, like phantoms, into the early morning, before I was fully awake. Maybe loneliness and boredom have come to share some bit of wisdom today...........If I am still enough, quiet enough, I may hear what they have to tell me.

Maybe I've had enough of the summer heat and humidity. Maybe my body still needs rest after two sick days in the past week. Maybe my thoughts and emotions are energized, but physical energy is lagging far behind, leaving me with that unsettled feeling. And, just maybe, listening to my body today will restore my energy and allow me to fully engage in my world tomorrow.

Determination

2008-06-13T16:52:00.002-05:00

Seeds fall, get blown about, settle into cracks in the pavement. Some are determined to grow, to bloom, regardless of the conditions they encounter.

Promise

2008-03-17T09:11:00.002-05:00

A cluster of clematis buds: this shot taken about 5 days ago. Two days ago they were covered with a dusting of snow. But they, along with the songs of birds not heard since last Fall, gives me hope that two very challenging seasons have passed. As new life awakens in the Earth, I pray it awakens in me.

Out of the nest

2008-03-04T11:00:00.004-06:00

Souvenirs of a Saturday roadtrip down the Little Dixie Highway, south of Louisiana, MO.

Pandora's Box: GPP Street Team Crusade No. 17

2008-03-03T09:09:00.005-06:00

There, all cozy in my nest, the lid has come off Pandora's box. Contained within this box is possibility, inspiration, opportunity, and yes, definitely hope.
In addition to a variety of pens, pencils, and markers, are other tools and materials for art journaling. Stencils. Rub-on letters. Images from magazines and brochures. Words cut from various sources. And a blank book to work in---spiral-bound smooth watercolor paper in a comfortable size: 7 x 10 inches. Not too big, not too small.

I've journaled, I've collaged, I've doodled, painted, stamped. But I've never "art journaled." I've thought about it often. But then, I think about a lot of things. Assembling these items in one place, and keeping it near my nest, might motivate me to do something other than "think" about it.

Special thanks goes to a friend who saw this challenge and thought of me. You are curious about why she thought of me? She knows I often go by the name "Pandora!" Perhaps I'll share that story at another time!

Eccentric?

2008-02-17T07:11:00.002-06:00

I have been called many things, ranging from flattering and validating to off-the-mark or downright offensive. Yesterday I was called "goofy" at least twice by the same person. Whatever..................

Some of the things I do lead to people perceiving me as eccentric, bohemian, "a little strange," or downright weird. Obviously those reactions and opinions do nothing to change what I do and how I live. I make the final decision on that.

For your entertainment, however, I will share some of the things I've done that have led to some of these labels. For instance, I am adamant about recycling, at home, work, anywhere. It blows my mind, first, that things that can lead another life are mindlessly filling dumpsters and landfills. And it blows my mind even more when I think about how much money is spent on disposal when recycling is free! At home, I pay 50 cents for each small bag of trash picked up by the city. I pay nothing for what gets picked up for recycling.

I was thrilled when our city recycling program began accepting junk mail, office paper, and shredded paper. The catch is, though, that they will not take away anything that is in a plastic bag. Hence the trunk full of trash bags filled with shredded paper. I bring these home, rip open the bags, then stuff the contents into cardboard boxes (many of which have been toted home from an office building on the corner). Sometimes I am able to use the shredded paper for packing material, and people who have hamsters, gerbils, mice, rats, guinea pigs, etc, are willing to use this for cage bedding.

I was, by the way, a "freak" about recycling even before it was decided that we need to "go green."

Maybe some of my insistence on recycling is part of being an artist and creative thinker. The potential uses for things that are commonly discarded are endless. And maybe having been broke many times in my life helps fuel this way of thinking.

There was a time I used a die-cutting machine in an art shop---buy the paper there, use the die-cutter, paper cutter, etc to your heart's content. I was appalled at the scraps in the nearby trash can, and asked the owner if I could rescue some of them. She didn't deny my request, but looked at me like I had just crawled out of a swamp or something, and said, "I don't mess with scraps; I can afford to use new papers." Yikes!!! I shop elsewhere now, again at a place where customers can use the accu-cut to their heart's content. It thrills me that there is a bushel basket of scraps nearby---not waiting for a trip to the dumpster, but ready for the right person and project to come along that will use them up!

Enough of the recycling soapbox for now...............here are some of the other things that lead people to think I'm strange..........

my "mulletts rock" bumper sticker

I challenge myself each Fall: how long can I hold out before I kick on the furnace the first time. Halloween is usually my target. If I make it that long, then it's my birthday, then Thanksgiving. In 2006 I made it to December 1---and even then I kept the thermostat set at 60 all winter. And how did I do with my challenge this winter? HA...........no heat even yet! Now it helps that I live in an upstairs apartment, but I swear I am not sucking up all the neighbor's heat! Their gas and electric usage is very close to what it was last year. OK, I bought an oil-filled electric radiator for my bedroom, but it has gotten extremely limited use. My electric matress pad went on the bed in mid-January, and it keeps me nice and toasty. Otherwise, when I'm home I'm usually doing something, being physically active, and I dress in layers. It also helps that I have made the descent into hot flash hell.............

Holidays and changing seasons are great...........I love the changes of color, like seeing seasonal decor. I do not, however, do any seasonal decorating. The one exception that that is my office door---currently with my Valentine garland.

These are some of the things that are part of who I am. Others may think what they will...........but I do what I do because I am who I am, believe what I believe, and will continue to live my way in spite of what others think. I believe there are also people who think I'm cool, who find what I do admirable in different ways, and even some who help me do what I do!

Challenge

2008-02-11T08:11:00.000-06:00

There are some people who know I can't resist a challenge..............since I don't know how to make the darn button work, go here.

I suppose it was the Pandora's Box that led my art pal K to think of me..........So here I go.....I have a bit more than 2 weeks for this creative endeavor.

Keep watching as I work and assemble, gather, create, and make art!

Hug and Kiss

2008-02-10T06:27:00.001-06:00

Here's a little hug and kiss for you!

February

2008-02-08T07:30:00.000-06:00

My office door...........backdrop for seasonal decor.

November 11

2007-11-12T08:22:00.001-06:00

Happy Birthday to me!

Skinny.......

2007-11-07T09:13:00.001-06:00

.......book page.

Drive Time

2007-10-25T08:35:00.000-05:00

Here I am, once again, heading down the road in Pearl, my trusty '99 Civic. She and I have been exploring and adventuring for eight years now. A glance at the odometer reminds me of the hours and miles Pearl and I have spent in each other's company. We've done only a couple long-hauls together; most of our trips are under three hours. Others have talked about how bored they get, especially when they travel the same route time and time again.

My drive time is usually my best "thinking" time. I settle in as my body takes over this activity that requires little conscious direction: put on the seatbelt, turn the key in the ignition, move hand to shift into reverse to back out of the driveway, shift again, and begin moving forward. Once I leave the city streets behind, when I no longer have to deal with unmarked intersections and traffic signals changing color, the right side of my brain takes over, and I enter a state in which anything can happen.

Sometimes I mull over puzzling and problematic situations. I might find myself mentally drawing up plans for a creative project, seeing how things will--or won't--come together, trying other approaches and possibilities. With mind wide open, the pieces begin snapping into place, the circuits make their fabulous connections, and the solutions find me.

Other times I ponder things that lead to more pondering.............what is the deal that churches are starting to look more like car dealerships than churches? And what about their huge marquees that tower over the freeway, giving the time and temperature in three versions: on earth, in heaven, and in hell. Or why would someone build a million-dollar home in a place where the view is of the four-lane highway that passes within short walking distance of the front door? Would I scream if I hit a deer on the highway? (Yes!) Why do they build bridges now that prevent me from seeing the creek or riverbed below? The sign at the approach says Peno Creek, North Fork of the South River, or maybe there is no sign. There is a bridge with concrete walls---I assume there is something it passes over, but you can't prove it by me! And do other people think about these things?

Yesterday I drove under a brilliant blue sky, past fields that have been harvested, wooded hillsides and bluffs, and patches of red, yellow and orange scattered here and there. The bright hues, against the deepening blue of a sky at dusk, with the nearly-full moon on the rise, imprinted themselves in my heart. Emotion was stirred, my breath caught sharply in my throat as I felt the swell of tears---how grateful I am that there is such beauty. How lucky I am that I get to carry this image with me, breathing in the colors over and over, letting them fill me up, centering and grounding me in absolute bliss.

Sobering Thoughts

2007-10-04T07:55:00.000-05:00

Many times, after being delayed, or taking a wrong turn, I think about what the delay may have saved me from. If I had been on time, if I wouldn't have had to backtrack, maybe I'd have been at the place on the highway where a driver crossed the center line. Maybe the delay somehow saved me from something much worse than being late.

Yesterday, I was 15 minutes late leaving the office. I stayed at a home visit 20 to 30 minutes longer than I had planned. When I was finally nearing home, I was delayed yet again: all four lanes of the highway were closed, all I could see ahead in the dusk were the flashing lights of countless emergency vehicles. I waited in my car, in a long line of other cars, and watched while the helicopter landed to airlift someone. After a quarter hour of sitting and waiting, the cars ahead began to move slowly. Some were turning around to go back to the last exit, others---like me---chose to take the county blacktop that twisted and turned and put me back on the four-lane a few miles past the accident.

I use the word accident, but I don't think that's quite right. When I think accident, I think of bumps and bruises, scratches and scrapes. This was much more.............I had quick glimpses of ripped and twisted metal, things that were crushed and smashed until they were nearly unrecognizable. At least two vehicles appeared to have been flung upon the landscape, maybe more. It was hard to tell in the dimming light. And I didn't want to stop and gawk, didn't want to add my car to the many that were stopped on the side road.

Later, it occurred to me that cars must have been crashing into each other about 20 to 30 minutes before I got there. Had I not spent extra time at the home visit, being escorted by a friendly 10 year old to all his favorite places in his magical world, my car could easily have been pitched and flung into the bean fields along with the others. Or maybe not.

Many people spend time thinking about the different things they might have done, the things they shouldn't have done, believing they would have created a much better outcome. I say you can't know for sure. Maybe the outcome would have been far worse. Maybe it would have been the same. No way to know. Just as there is no way to know where I'd have been at the moment cars began crashing had I jumped in the car and sped away rather than enjoying the extra time connecting with that child.

I suppose I like to think that the choices I made yesterday were not made randomly. I like to believe, I need to believe, that my choices affect outcome. I need to believe that, what often appears to be a mistake, a wrong turn, a delay, is somehow positive in the end. Perhaps, all along, I was exactly where I needed to be, doing exactly what I needed to do, at each moment.

The Guardians

2007-10-03T08:40:00.000-05:00

Mixed media sculpture.

An Entire Month of Treats

2007-09-03T12:48:00.000-05:00

And here we have it: the full month. Once unwrapped, these treasures fit a regular calendar page. The calendar in an earlier post, showing each package on its appointed day, was created on a large piece of poster board.

What an incredible variety this is! It's easy for me to see that many of these charms reflect the individual, and many used a favorite technique that seems to come as easy as breathing! For instance, Karyl's tiny book reflects her love of books and papers, and the ease with with she creates them.

Corey's bead, with such tiny leaf-shaped pieces (I thought to count them once, but decided I'd become totally awestruck and intimidated by her skill) cut from intricate cane, is a true polymer artist. And, although I don't know Kris, her bead certainly speaks of a love for this medium as well as great skill and practice. And then there is Jane, also someone I don't know, whose VT is rumored to be her first foray into creating with polymer cane.

Denise, for instance, has become a passionate needle-felter, along with being an extremely talented collage and mixed-media artist. And Pat makes magic with watercolor and crayons; her charm (day 26) only hints at what she can do with these simple materials. She combines her own brilliant papers with her bookbinding skills to create treasures I covet.

My intention is to provide you with an idea of the caliber of talent that made the month of August truly delightful! I certainly am not excluding anyone, but cite these women as examples of the mind-boggling talent and skill that is Artvent.

Most of the Artvent artists are people I've never met. The names of some are familiar, and I may have spent a Saturday afternoon at a class or demo with some of them. Some of these women I count among my friends, others are "friends in the making." I admire these 30 artists..........not just for their talent or participation in this wonderful month of surprises..........I admire them for their commitment to the project--after all, it can be a bit intimidating to approach creating 31 (or in the case of the over-achievers, far more than that!) of the same/similar thing. And I admire the commitment to working at their art, building skills, refining creative ideas. And I admire the courage it often takes to put ones creative work "out there." In spite of the doubts I know many artists experience about their own work, they extend themselves beyond self-criticism to share with others. Sharing the work makes it more real, and creates connections between people who would otherwise always remain strangers.

Days 25-31

2007-09-03T12:40:00.000-05:00

And the final week:

Top row:

Fran created this lucious fabric bead, rolled and wrapped and silky.

Pat does fabulous watercolor resist (another reversible charm!)

Sunny created with stamped heavy-weight paper and a little bead dangle.

Bottom row:

Maureen's dragonfly is, I think, shrink plastic. A circle dangle with her initials hangs on the back.

Julie was clever with a jigsaw puzzle piece and bead dangles.

Margie's keyboard offered up a clever contribution to this swap. Again a reversible charm: beads fill the pin that passes through from top to bottom.

And finally, the last day, Harriet gave us each a hand. Once again I think it might be shrink plastic, but this stuff is so great I can't always be certain.

Days 18-24

2007-09-03T12:29:00.000-05:00

Top row, L-R:

That's mine- shrink plastic, altered oval acrylic tag, shell

Carol-circle tag

PJ-stamped metal initial w/added bead (stamped as in the kind they do when making license plates......hmmmm)

Bottom row:

Mary Lou--fabric inchie w/bead dangles. And of course it's reversible!

Cathy-- word charm w/bead dangles. I'm not sure if the word charm was purchased, made of polymer, or created by Cathy in some other fashion. I like it that my word is Brilliance!

Jane---such a heavenly creation. Beads and dangles from a safety pin are the Pleides, the Seven Sisters.

Kris--polymer bead w/polymer dangle.

Catching up..........

2007-09-03T12:22:00.000-05:00

Artvent Days 14-17

I am so sorry to all these wonderful artists....no matter how many shots I took, none of them were very good. This happens to be the least bad of all.

Bottle cap and pretty shell dangle, both by Teresa.

Teensie book, Karyl.

Wonderful polymer work by Corey.

Quote with seaside imagery on flip side, Bev.

Again, my apologies for the quality of photo. They are so lovely, each one an absolute treasure!

Changes

2007-08-26T11:25:00.000-05:00

I noticed Thursday, as I was leaving work, that a shift had occurred while I was in a closed building all day. It's the change others might not even notice, that says summer is coming to an end. It doesn't matter if it's 100+ degrees on that day.............I can see and feel it in spite of the temperature. Suddenly the light looks different, it feels different, the air takes on a different quality and feels different on my skin. I'm not just hearing the cicadas at night and early in the morning, but in the middle of the day as well. I notice a difference in the shadows.

A couple of months ago my window was either completely shaded by the overhanging tree branches, or it would be drenched with sunlight. There was not much in-between. And now, at mid-day, sun and shadow dance on the blinds.

A sadness comes over me when I step out into air and light that are suddenly so different. The sadness is about summer being over, the coming of short days and long nights, and cold gray landscapes. An emptiness, or loneliness, comes over me when the light and air suddenly change. I believe some of this sadness is a leftover thing from childhood: the loss of summer meant the beginning of school, feeling confined, and the need to fill my brain with a lot of things I cared nothing about.

Am I the same person who, not so very long ago, whined about the misery of summer? The endless days of oppressive heat and humidity? In spite of my intense dislike of summer, I am sad when it comes to an end. Let me be clear about this: it's not summer itself that I have a problem with. There is much about summer that is to be celebrated: long long days; life being at a bit of a slower pace; Friday evenings in the park listening to live blues; the amazing bounty of backyard gardens; fresh sweetcorn that falls right off the cob into my mouth; ice cold watermelon; queen anne's lace, chicory, and black-eyed susan's along highways and country roads.

My body does not do well in heat and humidity. I lose energy. I feel physically and emotionally oppressed by the weight of endless days of hot, muggy air. A short time in the heat of August will leave me reeling with nausea and dizziness. It was that way when I was a child, and it seems to be even more so as I get older.

Cooler days, the sharpness of a brilliant blue sky, and cool crisp nights, all energize and invigorate me. As others are dreading the cold and bitterness of coming winter, I'm celebrating the sun on my cheeks that become rosy with the falling temperatures. I dread cold drizzle that so often comes in fall, but I willingly accept it because of the many days of blazing colors against the sky.

I find many things to celebrate in all seasons, but mourn the passing only of summer.........even in spite of knowing that we could still have three-digit heat yet to come.

And the winner is.............

2007-08-16T07:30:00.001-05:00

............(ta-dah).......ME!!! I discovered Pilar's blog while linking from one blog to another. I left a comment, and my name was drawn as the winner of this lovely piece! What an exciting thing to open an email and read "you are the winner," and have it be for real..........not a solicitation to put large purchases on a credit card, or any other annoying things that make it through my filters. I will be watching my mailbox for this lovely! And a jillion thanks to Pilar!

Days 8-13

2007-08-13T08:02:00.001-05:00

Nearly halfway thru the month!

Left to right:

Maureen

Jane (oops! it's upside down---NOT TV, it's really VT!-----sorry, Jane!)

Nancy Connelly

Dana Zatman

Denise

Beth

Opening each little package is something I look forward to each night as I go to bed. It's the first thing I think about when I get up in the morning...........what a kid I am!

The First Week

2007-08-07T08:16:00.000-05:00

It's hard to believe the first week's charms have been opened! Such a delight, first thing each morning, to open each package. I'm always so curious to see each new and unique piece. Artists, L to R, Vaneese Shaw, John Hammons, Barb O'Brien, Deirdre Woodard, Missy Jaycox, Carol Dickson, and Chris Gosik. Twentyfour to go...

A month full of goodies........

2007-07-29T18:25:00.001-05:00

My sister began getting Advent calendars from our mom each year, beginning when she was about 8 or 9. Until then, I knew nothing of such wonderful treats. Of course, if I had, I would have opened all the little doors and consumed each little chocolate before December 2nd rolled around.

I'm fortunate enough now to take part in a different ritual, yet one that is every bit as exciting as any Advent calendar could have been! This is Artvent, a group of 31 fabulous artists who create--and swap--wonderful little treats to help get through the month of August. This year, as mentioned in a previous post, we swapped charms.

As you can see, each day of the month has its special little package (the 18th is mine, and I already know what it is but I'll open it on the 18th anyway!). The packaging alone is fun, artistic, and in some cases, rather ingenious. There is a "master list" of who created each day's charm, but I don't really plan to consult it.....I like the idea of not knowing whose art work I'm opening.

There was a grand gathering on Thursday the 19th..........an evening filled with potluck, fun (so I'm told) and swapping the treasures. I was unable to attend because of a trip to a conference, and I think it's amazing that people were able to get there. An incredible downpour--- with angry clouds, wind, and rain coming down as if shot from an automatic weapon---hit the area as I was driving in the general vicinity of the party. It was unbelievable how long the rain just kept coming, hard and fast. At one point I noticed cars ahead of me swerving out of the lane-----an extension ladder had been blown (?) off a truck and was in pieces in the middle of the lane. That storm wasn't enough to stop the Artventers, though! I picked up my goodies last week, and had to leave them in a bag---out of sight but not really out of mind---to avoid temptation. Today I decided that I could live with having them in view because I'm especially feeling the need of something to look forward to.

I have found myself feeling rather shocked and surprised that the beginning of school is quickly approaching. That means summer is pretty much over, although my perception is that it has just barely begun. At the same time, it seems that the heat and humidity have been dragging at me for far too long now, and I'm wishing for some cooler, crisper days. Even the nights, when the temperature dips a bit, feel too muggy for my comfort. I detest the sensation of dampness in the air, often pressing against me, thick enough that breathing is a struggle. In spite of living and working in air conditioned environments, I find myself completely exhausted.

Will this August be significantly different from any other in the muggy midwest? I find it difficult to believe it could be. While the climate will most likely be something I will find myself simply enduring day after day, I will look forward to each morning's special little treat.........each day will begin with something new. And each night will find me anticipating the next day's package.

Last Weekend's Project

2007-07-11T21:26:00.001-05:00

In addition to working on things for the swaps I committed to, the big project of this past weekend was installing this sweet little air conditioner in my studio! I successfully removed the huge monstrosity of a no-longer-functioning air conditioner from this window a couple of weeks ago........quite the task, believe me. I felt like I had conquered some heathenish monster. The heat will no longer keep me out of my studio!

Captured!

2007-07-11T21:16:00.000-05:00

I don't know where this little yellow leaf came from, or how long ago it was captured between the downspout and the side of the house. At first glance I thought it was floating in mid-air, but a close up look told more of the story.........the leaf is suspended in the middle of a very large spider web! Even strong breezes and downpour didn't dislodge it.

Taking the Plunge.............

2007-07-07T08:54:00.001-05:00

.............with my first "big" swap. I say big because it's more than the usual dozen atc's, and big because I'm swapping with a group of people who are complete strangers to me. It's only kind of intimidating, though, because I feel ready for this kind of challenge. Some of the swapmates also have blogs, which I've visited, and can see that I will be swapping skinny book pages with some very talented artists.

This swap is being hosted by Chrysti, whose skinny pages, and tutorial on creating backgrounds, can be seen in the current issue of CPS.

I am also making charms for a swap that will take place in less than two weeks. Charms aren't done, of course, but they are completely created in my head, which is where most all the work takes place, anyway!

Then there is my atc swap group, a bunch of fabulous and fun women who meet once a month to connect, laugh, vent, find support, get inspired, and.......oh, yes, swap atc's!

Committing myself to these kinds of artistic adventures motivates me to actually create rather than just think about creating. And it gets me to clear up some space and reorganize so that I can actually get some work done.

Since I will need to mail off my charms in a couple of days, I guess I'd best get to work!!

Time

2007-07-06T07:42:00.000-05:00

Collage, 10" diameter, 1997.

Inspire Me Thursday: Light

2007-07-03T08:14:00.001-05:00

The sun, just high enough to show itself above neighboring buildings, peeks through the matchstick blinds at the top of my stairs.

I love the light of early morning, often with a soft haze at this time of year. The day has not yet become abuzz with activity, but is beginning to transition through its awakening. Birdsong begins before the sun sends its rays over the horizon, almost as if their sweet music calls out the sun.

This is light.

In the Forest

2007-06-30T20:18:00.000-05:00

The forest holds secrets and mysteries. Barren winter woods expose the hidden wonders........but only to those who take the time to notice. One must know where to look in the dense growth of summer, intensely watching for that one certain place, the slightest break in the treeline, that beckons the viewer's attention. A slight breeze creates whispers, "This, right here, right now! Look..............don't pass by without a glimpse of my beauty, my magic, my mysteries."

Melting snow and heavy rains created this shallow ravine that winds and stair-steps its way from the top of the bluff to the plain below. Photo taken 6/24/2007, near highway 57, north of Fall Creek.

New work

2007-05-01T07:50:00.000-05:00

Two sweet little double-sided pendants, collaged & soldered. Silent auction contributions.

Seen around town.............

2007-05-01T07:47:00.000-05:00

being driven by a very distinguished-looking silver-haired pair!

Trip Back in Time

2007-04-01T09:32:00.000-05:00

I was so close...........just 45 minutes away. It would have been so sad not to take the opportunity to visit a place from my past! And so I headed down US 54 to Lake of The Ozarks. How many times as a child had I been through this place? And what did I see on this day that was familiar? The water, as I crossed the bridge at Osage Beach, was the only thing that looked like anything I'd seen there before.

The last time I was there, Starbucks hadn't even existed in Seattle yet, let alone in Osage Beach with a drive-thru no less! And I'd never heard of an outlet mall, either! Even the highway that took me into this now strange place was different. It used to be a twisting, curving, steep-hills two-lane highway. Now it's four lanes with hills that don't dip and climb so sharply, and curves that are much more gentle. There were places where old Highway 54 still exists, running alongside the new road, and as I sped past I longed for the time when that was the only highway.

The billboards I remember, for factory stores that sold genuine Ozark walnut bowls, have been replaced by ones advertising shops at the outlet mall. The only outdoor advertisements that were connected to my memories are those for Tantara and Lodge of the Four Seasons, resorts that sounded incredibly luxurious, catering to those far more worldly and sophisticated than our family.

There were some breath-taking vistas on this day however, with the early Spring woods, forsythia and redbud in bloom, and hills that fall away into valleys with farms and pastures dotted with cows and newborn calves. My drive also gave me a chance to see redwing blackbirds that had returned from their winter habitats. I am always amazed at their ability to perch upon the slenderest reed without bending or breaking it!

I am sure that my memories, seen with a child's eyes, are not nearly as keen as my parents'. I wonder, had my mother been in the car with me, what she would have been remembering. I can only imagine hearing her say, "Oh, it all looks so different. I don't remember this at all!"

A sure sign of Spring

2007-03-22T08:47:00.000-05:00

New clematis buds peeking out on the first full day of Spring.

I've crossed over............

2007-03-18T09:28:00.000-05:00

to the new blog! Some have said it's difficult, confusing, impossible; others have said it's not easy--a bit tricky; others have said it's a piece of cake...............after biting my nails down to the quick, worrying, being intimidated, I held my breath, followed the directions, and here I am. We'll see how well it goes from here.

I feel as though I have crossed over in other ways, as well. Where have I been? In some fog that has seemed to lift for moments at a time, but that was just me trying to push it away. But I think, possibly.......perhaps, this time the sun truly is breaking through............fog is nothing but a few wisps waiting to be carried away with some gentle breezes.

Art-making has been almost non-esixtent. Life has been unproductive in all ways. I seem to know when this phase is lifting...............I suddenly see the disarray that has become my life over a period of weeks or months; in this case, almost a year. And along with the ability to see, I have some energy to do! I know I am waking up when I begin clearing off the surfaces, opening up spaces, removing what is unnecessary and unusable. Things around me lighten up, and I feel lighter again. I can breathe again.

Pretty Little Valentine

2007-02-01T08:20:00.000-06:00

Take a tiny collage, microscope slides, add copper foil tape and solder. Finish off with a couple jump rings and charms, hang from a sweet little ball chain, and voila! In order to make sure things work properly, though, there is the almost continual cussing like a street thug that must be part of the process as well!

Gotta Love Amazon!

2007-01-31T07:47:00.000-06:00

I am a book addict. I live where the closest bookstore is two hours away, and even then many of the books I most desire are not available. So I love Amazon. I buy with one click. And I get what I want, delivered to my door. How easy is that?

So I cozied up with my newest acquisitions last night, browsed the pages, and let the creative wheels turn!

Altered Cute

2007-01-29T07:47:00.000-06:00

An old family photo, combined with elements of Elvis and Bubba, along with an artistic touch or two, and cute becomes......................well, very altered!

Self-Portrait

2006-10-26T20:15:00.000-05:00

ATC

Birds & Words

2006-10-26T20:12:00.000-05:00

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul.
And sings the tune
Without the words,
and never stops at all.
Emily Dickinson

ATC

Surprise!

2006-10-21T08:48:00.000-05:00

Once again the awesome and inspiring Ann has surprised me with wonderful gifts from her travels and adventures.

Who are these bathing beauties? Are they friends who meet once a year for a retreat by the sea? Are they sisters and cousins at a family reunion? Whoever they were, I believe they must have been happy as they posed near the water's edge!

And can you believe that prescriptions from 1930 were not destroyed somewhere along the way, but hidden away for artists to discover 76 years later! Amazing..............

Thank you, Ann, for thinking of me with this lovely gift!

O, the Moon!

2006-10-08T09:46:00.000-05:00

a rare thing, for me, to see the very same moon rise and set.............

a decision to take a different way home,
gasping as I crested a hill and saw Grandmother Moon
hanging over the corn fields,
on the road again 12 hours later
and there she was again
while I urgently sought out a place to stop
and capture her image.

A bit of progress.......

2006-10-03T08:26:00.000-05:00

I'm beginning to find a few clear spots on my countertop!

Make some space

2006-10-02T08:04:00.000-05:00

Before I can get creative again, I've gotta make some room to work!

I worked on some ATCs last week, moving the necessary supplies and materials to the kitchen table. It worked, but not something I want to do all the time!

Making a mess comes with creating. I don't mind that kind of mess. But I can't even come close to my work surface here!

My daughter came for a visit, the first time since I installed these wonderful storage units and 7-ft. countertop. My studio made a huge impact on her.........all the stuff got in the way of being able to see the beauty of my organizing system. The space on which to lay out supplies and materials..........couldn't see that, either!

Some fragments of conversation from her time in my studio:

"Oh, mom, this is a sickness."
"I know, isn't it great!?"
"Mom, you have a sickness!"
"Yeah, maybe."
"Mom, how can you have so much stuff?"
"How can I not?"
"Oh, mom, this is a sickness......wow, this is cool, where did you get it?"
"Would you like a piece of it?"
"Mom, you've got so much stuff. How do you even know what you have?"
"Ah, that's the beauty of it.......I sift through things, find something I'd forgotten, and feel like I've just brought home a new treasure!"
"Oh, mom, you have a sickness........"

A sweet gift.....

2006-10-01T10:58:00.000-05:00

...........from the fabulous and incomparable Jane, Grace and Ann.

Such a sweet and precious acorn.

More sweet and precious is being one to receive this symbol of care and infinite possibilities.

What a blessing!

Break-time's over!

2006-09-08T08:30:00.000-05:00

It's time to crawl out of my cave and LIVE and DO again!

The heat and swampishness of summer sent me into hibernation.........a time to be quiet, a time of not doing. I knew I was coming out of my deep rest when I created a mental list of things to do a few days ago. The energy is beginning to return.......I will be coming back to regular blogging........checking in on my favorites, hopefully discovering some new ones, and getting back to some of the challenges.

This little guy was clowning around and hamming it up at the Polebridge Mercantile in----believe it or not----Polebridge! After watching him, several times, smash his face and slowly slide it down the inside the window at the Merc, I just had to get a shot of him. He was ever so pleased, and pantomimed looking at his image. I turned the camera for him to see, and he danced and gestured his approval and pleasure.

Campground Art

2006-08-24T07:34:00.000-05:00

I played with rocks and sticks as a child........I still play with rocks and sticks. What do you do when you're playing in the campground?

PS: Happy Birthday, Mom!

2006-08-22T08:51:00.000-05:00

..........one more candle and a trip around the sun......... (Jimmy Buffett paraphrased!)...........

Three Woodswomen..........

2006-08-22T08:40:00.000-05:00

..........in Glacier National Park. Is it truly possible that this was less than two weeks ago? It seems a world away now that I've returned to work and familiar routines.

My mom, sister and I spent four nights camping in the woods.......yes, even mom slept on the ground in a tent! The best part of the vacation, for all of us, was being able to spend time together. The next best part, especially for me, was spending much of that time in a place I believe is Heaven.

Thanks to the kind man who sweetly offered to snap this rare photo of the three of us together on the Trail of the Cedars.

To the wild country......

2006-08-08T09:31:00.000-05:00

Today I head for the mountains.

There I will find peace.

My soul can rest there, my body and mind will be restored.

Studio Friday: Creativity Roots

2006-08-04T07:15:00.000-05:00

This week's topic for Friday August 4th suggested by Anke: YOUR CREATIVITY ROOTS!

"I just thought about that the other day, that I have my creativity from both sides of my parents. Both my grandma's are/were inspired and creative. Does it run in your family too? And from who did you have it or better who else in your family was/is creative. Mom/dad/Grandma/grandpa/uncle/aunt/......-"
-anke

This Log Cabin quilt was made by my mother, Arlene, several years ago, and hangs in my hallway. My home and life are filled with my parents' creations.....quilts to look at and wrap up in, beautiful gifts from my mother's hands. And pieces of furniture made by my dad......a sewing table, bookcases, a doll's wardrobe and little girl's dish cabinet.

I am grateful that I inherited the desire and ability to create, and for seeing it in my daughters' lives as well. {SF}

Lazy Summer Days

2006-08-02T08:20:00.000-05:00

Summer lethargy has over-taken me.

This is my season to hibernate. Summer is the time of year that sends me into hiding.

Days of heat and humidity steal my energy.

The more I try to resist by pushing myself.....to do.....to go.....to produce.......the less able I become to function "normally." So I rest. Have been resting. Looking forward to another time, another season.

Studio Friday: Studio Sidekick

2006-07-22T09:12:00.001-05:00

This week's topic for Friday July 21st suggested by Debbie: STUDIO SIDEKICK(S)!

"I got inspired by those lovely ladies who left comments for me on "A View from Above." My post included my puppy and I received all kinds of cool comments of artists describing their four legged companions. I'd LOVE to see pictures of all of their companions! So how about "Art Studio Sidekicks?" Originally I had "four-legged" in the title. However, I know there are not only 3-legged-once-4-legged sidekicks out there, but also all sorts of companions. I'm certain that there are artists with birds as their companions and I certainly want to see and "hear" all about them!" -Debbie

This is the story of Bandit-the-Wonderdog:

A black and white dog, mixed breed, was rescued from death row by a young woman and her significant other four years ago. They named him Bandit, and helped him settle into life with them. It was soon very apparent to them that their adorable canine companion must have suffered early trauma: he would cower and run if someone moved quickly or unexpectedly. Men in particular seemed to create a nervous and tense reaction. But Bandit became comfortable in his home, and especially enjoyed having a yard for running and playing.

There came a day that Bandit-the-Wonderdog decided he wanted to learn to fly. While having a vacation at the home of family friends, a severe storm began to brew. One of Bandit's super-powers is that he is able to sense a coming storm long before it becomes apparent to any of his human friends.

Already nervous and worried, and scared because he had been left in the apartment alone, Bandit-the-Wonderdog paced around seeking safety. Thunder rolled and lightening cracked, raising what had been sheer terror to utter insanity. An explosion rocked the world as a bolt of lightening hit an electrical transformer near the building. That was it......he could stand no more, he was going to flee from all the terrifying sounds. Taking a deep breath and using his powerful legs to propel him across the room, he took aim and flew out the window!

The friends returned home, found their home in chaos, and panicked when Bandit-the-Wonderdog was nowhere to be found. Some strange sense led them to the window.......as lightening flashed they saw what appeared to be something on the ground three floors below!

A shattered pelvis and femur. Specialists were called in from far and wide and debate ensued: "Amputate," said some. "No, we can put him back together," claimed others. His family said, "Please, do everything you can." The surgery began, and plates and rods and screws were put into place to hold the broken parts together.

A lengthy recovery followed, and Bandit-the-Wonderdog made a full recovery. Once again he enjoyed running and playing and jumping. He was happy. Then changes began to occur........nothing was the same in the house anymore: the man moved away, boxes were being packed up, and a "For Sale" sign appeared in the yard. The young woman was concerned about Bandit-the-Wonderdog..........now that the man was gone, Bandit was alone for longer and longer periods of time. He became lonely and felt lost. The young woman worried about what would happen to him when she moved........she didn't think she'd be able to take him where she was going, and even if she could he would be alone far too many hours a day. The young woman talked to her mother, and it was agreed that Bandit-the-Wonderdog would move to the mother's home.

Bandit-the-Wonderdog came into my life and home in January 2005. I was recovering from major surgery and was grateful for the companionship. My recovery process was helped along by Bandit's presence; having to take him outside several times a day pushed me to be more active. He has become far more of a companion than I had ever imagined. Although my family had dogs when I was growing up, and there were even a couple as my children were growing up, I had never experienced the real companionship of a dog.

If Bandit is not in the same room with me, he is snuggled on my bed. He has been lounging on the floor in my studio as I've been writing this. He will occasionally come and nuzzle at me, or lay his head on my leg.

I feel sad that I don't have a yard for Bandit to enjoy, but there is a school up the block with a large fenced-in field. Bandit runs the perimeter of the field, herding imaginary sheep and cows. It is so obvious at those times that he is part Border Collie. He makes me laugh when he charges full-speed at me, as if I am a stray sheep that needs to be sent back with the rest of the flock!

When Bandit runs through the field, he sometimes appears to be in flight. It's easy to imagine him sprouting wings and taking off! At those moments, he is joy in motion.

Thanks, Debbie, for prompting me to tell the story of Bandit-the-Wonderdog, my flying studio sidekick!

{SF}

Studio Friday: View From Above

2006-07-14T08:30:00.000-05:00

This week's topic for Friday July 7th suggested by Michelle: VIEW FROM ABOVE!

"My husband and I went flying this past weekend and I had so much fun taking aerial pictures. Amazing what things you see everyday look like from above. It just got me thinking "what would my desk look like from above?" I have a feeling I would find some inspiration somewhere in there!"
-Michelle

My studio workspace. One of the best things about this topic is that it provided the motivation for me to move things away from the area so I could take the photos!

I've been in the midst of a major re-decorating project in another room; the rest of my home has become a "holding" area for all the stuff that has been temporarily removed.

The thing I noticed most, as I climbed up to the top of my stepladder, is that I found it necessary to show a "clean" workspace. Yes, I think it was important to remove the things that had collected there, but I created a bare workspace in the process. My stashes of supplies are contained in the surrounding area, but I have no work-in-progress there!

Thanks to Michelle and Tine for this challenge. The result is that I found some motivation, now that the work area is tidied up, to begin working on some of the projects that have been floating around in my head!

{SF}

Studio Friday: 7 Layer Salad

2006-07-09T13:55:00.000-05:00

This week's topic for Friday July 7th suggested by linda: SF PLAYTIME "7 layer salad".

"... using 7 layers to produce a piece of art. Have you done anything using only circles or only triangles (squares etc.) I loved the challenge of creating with the brush in our teeth! Maybe creating only using pieces of mat board for the implement to apply paint! I do that with my students at school and they produce some really interesting things."

In the midst of repainting my bedroom, with my home in chaos, I stop and play. My 7 layer salad is:

decorative paper, gessoed to soften the image, natural muslin, a scrap of organza, twig tied with string, feathers found on yesterday morning's walk, a pressed leaf that fell from the pages of a book, iridescent gold fluid acrylic, and chestnut brown liquid chalk.

I would much rather play than paint, but I must now go paint so I can move back into my bedroom someday!

{SF}

Inspire Me Thursday: Body Parts

2006-07-05T08:25:00.000-05:00

Hands

This week's topic at Inspire Me Thursday is Body Parts.

Aunt Diane and Clayton, August 2, 2003.
Edited in Microsoft, collaged in Picasa2.

Serendipitous Saturday

2006-07-02T15:05:00.000-05:00

I stopped in at Rock Paper Scissors to say hi to my friend Denise where these great torsos were being made in a class. I got to make this fun little tu-tu loaded with ribbons and charms. The tu-tu is quite versitile.........it can double as a wild 'n' wacky bracelet, pony-tail holder, candle wreath, or funky tiara.

The afternoon was topped off with surprise visits from other old friends and introductions to new friends! You never know where fun will find you on a serendipitous Saturday afternoon!

Studio Friday: Time/Timing

2006-07-02T11:39:00.000-05:00

This week's topic for Friday June 30th suggested by Jo: TIME/TIMING.

"When we are in our studios. I find that I can't be in there everyday. Particularly when I have just finished something I feel drained and need a good break. I also find that there are only certain times of the day where the juices get flowing. I'd be interested to read/see what others think."

Like Jo, I am not able to be in my studio every day, or as often as I would like. I have found that some of the best times for me are early in the morning. If I can get up two or three hours before I need to be at work, I find that time very productive and creative. Although it is by no means the crack of dawn, the neighborhood usually has not come to full life yet, and sounds are distant and muffled. When I enter my studio at those times, it is as if I have stepped into another world.....one that I have difficulty leaving when the world and other responsibilities call.

{SF}

Photo of flea market clock.

Open Studio

2006-06-29T12:59:00.000-05:00

Inspire Me Thursday

This week's topic at IMT is Open Studio:

"Create anything you would like and share it with us, along with pictures of where you created it. "

Having a day off work when the weather is beautiful means one thing: working outdoors. I am erecting additions to the "stick" fence I put at the edge of my driveway many years ago. Over time, it has been repaired, and entirely rebuilt four years ago. Originally about 15 feet in length, I am adding sections to increase it to about 30 feet. The two sections at the left are the ones I began today. They are far from finished.........My method is to use only a few branches in each section then go back with what I have left to fill them in.

This is my open studio today!

{IMT}

Another Surprise...........

2006-06-26T07:56:00.000-05:00

.........found in a box that had been unopened for years. The original invitation to my birthday party in 1987!

Funny thing is, thoughts of that party came to mind one day last week. I wondered what had become of this piece of work, and thought it might actually be gone. Over the weekend I crossed paths with someone who had come to this party.

There were other surprises in that box..........old birthday cards, comics that used to hang on my bulletin board, postcards from old friends, scraps of paper filled with doodles, images and memories of the past, memories of the times that filled the life that was mine.

Sweet Saturday Surprise

2006-06-25T10:41:00.000-05:00

Look what the mailman put in my mailbox yesterday! This sweet little ATC from Becky! I just love finding special little treats, and this one is just too cute. I luv the little critters on the heads!

Speaking of Family.........

2006-06-24T09:17:00.000-05:00

.........I spent some quality time with my favorite 3 year old last week. For three days life was about daycare, potty training, playing, and finding every possible way to be silly!

Studio Friday: Family

2006-06-23T08:36:00.000-05:00

Family in my studio
Studio Friday

"Family history, things that have been passed down from one family member to the next, family values, all influence me as an artist, whether I'm consciously aware of it or not.I wonder how others are influenced or inspired by their families---either past or present. What family treasures might be found in others' studios?"

In my studio is an old family album from my father's side of the family. It is filled with images of people who are anonymous strangers to me. They are all gone from this Earth, but their spirits remain alive in my studio. I look into their eyes, gaze at their faces, and wonder who they were, what they did, how we are connected.

The photo above is the only one in the album that has notation on the back: "Mary Cleveland. I am 16 here." Mary was evidently someone of importance to the person who kept the album; there are many photos of her. In one, she is holding a baby, with the word "mother" written on the back. Was it the photo Mary had earmarked for her mother? Or was that written by Mary's child at a later time? I will never know the answer to that question.

Mary, the mystery of her, inspires me. We are connected, not just by genes, but by the spirit that flows from one to another. Mary, and the album filled with images of anonymous strangers, reminds me that I am a link in the chain that comes from, and leads to, places I don't know. Those anonymous strangers helped create and influence who I am, and who I am will influence those who will come long after I'm gone.

Family.........I am part of its creation.

{SF}

Down this road.........

2006-06-18T11:19:00.000-05:00

The old Girl Scout daycamp. Now owned by a private organization, available to churches and other groups for retreats. My women's group camped there Friday night. The lodge, a one-room building lacking most amenities and comforts, is surrounded by woods. We enjoyed a fire, cooking outdoors and sharing potluck, talking and talking and talking. Saturday morning another fire, although entirely unnecessary, more sitting and talking with steaming cups of coffee.

There is a sweet-spicy fragrance to those woods, and the sound of cicadas and crickets filled the air.

A sweet taste of heaven at the end of a hectic week.

Studio Friday: A-HA Moment

2006-06-15T20:57:00.000-05:00

This week's topic for Friday June 16th suggested by Pamela: A-HA MOMENT

" I'm sure we've all had a moment when we're creating something we've had in mind and then something totally different results by accident."Pamela

My A-HA moment came during a paste paper play extravaganza a few weeks ago. Tired of brushing the paint onto the paper, I drizzled black over my green and yellow. But, "Oh, no, what a mess I've created." The A-HA struck as I grabbed a comb and dragged it through, creating a pattern that was uniquely my own!

Gotta love those "mistakes!"

{SF}

Studio Friday: Fave Art Supply/ies

2006-06-11T13:30:00.000-05:00

This week's topic for Friday June 9th suggested by mary ann: FAVE ART SUPPLY/-IES

This is a late entry for a couple of reasons: I was away from home quite a bit during the past week, and once I returned home I had a lot of trouble narrowing down my subject for this. Many people know that I have so many art supplies and tools that it's just plain ridiculous. So, in thinking about this topic, I considered what I have that would be extremely difficult to replace:

Three cigar boxes purchased at a tiny tobacco and wine shop on an out-of-the way street in downtown Columbia, MO. These boxes contain my collection of found papers, images, words, art from packaging, old postcards, stamps, wine bottle labels, pieces of maps, boarding pass stubs, tickets from various events and raffles.

I sift through these boxes to find images, words, and phrases to add to collages or to just get inspired.

{SF}

Studio Friday: Space

2006-06-02T21:33:00.000-05:00

This week's Studio Friday topic was suggested by Tracie: " Space? The final frontier? I have limited studio space, but not by the mere fact the room is only probably 9x10 but because of all the many things inside of that space! What consumes your creative space? Tell us about those infringements."

My guess is that we all have limited studio space. This is one corner of the room I call my studio. What consumes my studio space? Paper, paper and more paper. And books and books and books. Rubber stamps. Paint. Inks. Old books. Found objects. Sticks and feathers.

I manage to keep all of this fairly well organized in and around two great storage units that were some kind of store fixture at one time. I topped them with a seven-foot long piece of countertop, and hung shelves around the corner. Things are sorted into photo boxes, although none of them are labeled so I'm always going on a hunt. What this photo doesn't show are the three bookcases, wardrobe-size cabinet, and stack of 21---yep, that's right, 21---12x12 drawers filled with scrapbook papers and "in progress" pieces! I feel very fortunate that I have a large room for all of this, but there was a time when a corner of my bedroom served as my studio space. I obviously didn't have this much stuff at the time!

This is my space, my final frontier!
{SF}

What I remember........

2006-06-02T08:24:00.000-05:00

So funny the things I remember.........when I also forget so easily, not even having that "now what did I come in here to do?" experience. Totally forgetting! But I found this photo of myself the other day, and could recall with utter clarity having it taken.

I was visiting my Grandma and Grandpa White sometime in the summer of 1961. I would have been 5 when this was snapped. My Aunt Marcia took me out into the front yard and had me face into the sun. What I remember is complaining about the sun in my eyes. Whining and complaining enough got me a spot in the shade. I hope I was grateful for that concession.

Visiting grandma and grandpa wasn't an unusual thing during childhood and adolescence, because they lived just across town, about three or four miles. When I got old enough (about 10 or so) I was allowed to ride my bike there. It was there, during the summer, that I learned to crochet granny squares and watch soaps! Good ol' Days of Our Lives and As the World Turns! In the evenings we would catch lightening bugs in the front yard. And find places in the cool shade, among the ferns, to lay and watch the clouds.

These things I remember of summers past.

Self-Portrait Challenge: Introduce Yourself, final installment

2006-06-01T09:11:00.000-05:00

The Self-Portrait Challenge for May was Introduce Yourself.

This is part of who I am:
A mother to two lovely young women who are creative, kind, caring, generous, fun-l0ving, talented, resilient, sensitive................I could go on and on, but these are the things I most admire in them. You can see that they radiate these qualities, can't you?

I am a grandma to a sweet and precious, amazingly brilliant three-year old who makes gifts to me of his boogers on occasion (a gift that only a grandma could truly appreciate!).

I am a daughter to two wonderful people who always did their best to keep me safe, to love me, and who put their children's needs before their own. I am the firstborn. My brother, less than two years younger, is someone I rarely see (although he lives but an hour away!). Our relationship is not particularly close or distant.......there is just little relationship there. My sister, nine years younger, is my best friend and I am hers. She lives in the Pacific Northwest. We see each other when we can, and we share a lot of adventures together.

I am a person who loves to be in nature..........camping, hiking, spending a weekend in a cabin in the woods, being near water. I like to explore new places, and return to old and familiar places.

Although I was totally oblivious to the 60's, had no clue what Woodstock was until a decade later, people often get the notion that I was a hippie. Is it my Birkenstocks? Is it my casual approach to life? What vibes do I give out that say, "I grind my own organic wheat to bake my own bread, churn fresh butter, and smoke pot on a daily basis!"??????? None of these things are true! I would enjoy having the time to grind wheat, bake bread and churn butter. But I buy my (sometimes) organic whole wheat bread at the grocery store. And the last thing I smoked was a Kool 100 back in 1994.

Things that excite me and make me feel alive are: hearing the song-like sound of foreign languages and unfamiliar accents in places like Pike Place Market. Walking in a crowd of people whose ethnicity and culture are far different from mine. Playing with my grandson. Waking up to the smell of the woods and the sounds of water and unseen creatures rustling through the trees. Seeing a hillside of dry grass magically turn to gold in the rising sun. Being dropped off at an airport terminal as I am heading out on a new adventure.

I am a therapist working with troubled people.........mostly children and their families. While I know that I can't fix what's wrong, I know that for the most part I have a positive impact. Sometimes I am the only adult who gives undivided attention to a child. Sometimes I am the only adult who ever plays with a child. Sometimes I am the only adult in a child's life who doesn't judge and criticize. Sometimes I am filled with anger........rage.......over the things people do to each other. There are times that I feel that I just can't hear anymore pain. But I take care of myself. I refill my own container with new life and energy as I make are, walk my dog, and connect with people whose lives aren't filled with pain. Then I can return with a container that will hold more of what others need to be freed from, even if just for a little while.

I AM............all these things and more.

{SPC}

And this is.........

2006-06-01T08:47:00.000-05:00

The scrap paper that protected my work surface when I painted my papers for my Inspire Me Thursday "Word Art" post. I liked my word art piece. I was quite pleased with the simple one-letter word. I loved what happened when I put paint to paper. I did not have any preconceived concept of what the paint would/should do, or what my piece would look like upon completion. Everything was about play and surprise. But the big surprise was in what I saw beneath my "real" work.

This is AWESOME! It looks spontaneous (it was), fresh, and serendipitous (it was!), and amazingly incredibly filled with life energy. This is what I want to see in intentional creations.

I can always see the difference in pieces that I worked too hard on, things I forced, and those that just kind of happen. Some things just flow through me, almost as if directed by some other force. Those are the ones that leave me feeling amazed and in awe. Most of what I do, though, leaves me feeling disappointed. Most of what results from my efforts looks lifeless, forced, stiff. Those are the things that do not appear on my blog, those are the things others never see.

This wonderful piece of paper is a treasure.........and pieces of it will find their way into other work, it will become part of another energy flow!

O, how easy.........

2006-06-01T08:39:00.000-05:00

.........and o, how fun! Paste paper extravaganza-o-rama!

Water, paste, paint, paper, play play play! Stamp, scrape, scribble. Layer after layer.........

addictive excitement on a Saturday afternoon!

Inspire Me Thursday: Word Art

2006-05-31T21:25:00.000-05:00

My word is O.

Painted paper collage.

Inspire Me Thursday

Studio Friday: Aged/Antique

2006-05-26T08:23:00.000-05:00

This week's topic for Friday May 26th suggested by Jane Wynn: AGED/ANTIQUE.
" I love aged things- anything with Rust or Patina... is just too wonderful to me. I use metal paint on anything that is NOT metal (like Plastic, Glass, Wood or even Paper) to give it a faux metal surface and then I age it with liquid patina or sometimes just vinegar and ammonia... What I get in return is something that looks like it is over a hundred years old..."

I don't know that I've ever purposely aged things as Jane has; but I do love aged things. Old photos, antique furniture, bottles.........

What you see here is a portion of my collection of family photos, most of them mysterious strangers. I assume they are family because some of them bear my family name, but the exact connections remain a mystery to me. The clock I got at a local flea market, always giving the time as 6:23. AM or PM doesn't matter! And all of these placed in an antique suitcase found at another flea market, originally belonging to someone with the initials BAM.

I love these photos. They tell such interesting stories.

So here you have it, for Studio Friday: Aged/Antique!

Self Portrait Challenge: Introduce Yourself 3

2006-05-25T08:16:00.000-05:00

I continue to think about who I am in response to this month's Self Portrait Challenge.

Although I am a 50 year old mother and grandmother, there is a child who lives within me. She is the free spirit discovering the beach for the first time. In spite of being frightened by the immensity and power of so much water, she splashed and played for as long as she was allowed to be there.

This child picks up rocks and sticks and feathers on walks around the block and hikes in the woods. These small items are filled with beauty and mystery; they are her treasures.

This child believes the wounded can be healed.

This child loves to laugh and play.

This child knows the pleasure of drumming and singing without regard to what others might think. This child has imagination. This child is my gift.

Studio Friday: Contrast

2006-05-20T06:28:00.000-05:00

So this Friday it's all about CONTRAST. Thanks Laura for suggesting this great topic!

Well, I struggled a bit with this one! I have all manner of contrasting things in my studio but none of them really spoke to me. What did call out to me, however, was the photo documentation of a recent experience that left me feeling completely nuts.

I walked Bandit the Wonderdog around my neighborhood early Thursday morning, stopping to say hello to a neighbor or two. When it was time to change into my work clothes, I looked down as I went to slip off my shoes. Low and behold, this is what I had on my feet.

While I found it hysterically funny to think that I'd been out and about in two entirely different shoes, I was also rather disturbed. Am I so out of touch with my own body that I can no longer feel that my shoes are different? Have I gotten so distracted? Is this a "symptom" of a mindlessness that has taken over my life at times?

This is my offering for this week's Studio Friday.

Inspire Me Thursday: Journaling

2006-05-17T22:31:00.000-05:00

This week's Inspire Me Thursday challenge is journaling. Not just sitting down with a blank piece of paper and writing, but using images, paint, colors, textures upon which to write. This is my first experience with art journaling. I've journaled for many years, and have done collage for at least as long. But I've not combined the two in this way before.

A recent experience, an incredibly uncomfortable one, was something I needed to process. I did so in several conversations, but wanted to do some writing about it as well. I wanted to cement the experience---and the processing of it---in my memory. I needed something tangible.

I felt it very important that my art reflect my topic in some way. I found a wonderful magazine cover from at least a decade ago that was the perfect thing. It was patchworked with another magazine page, creating blocks. Searching for just the right images, finding a way to piece them together, and preparing blocks within blocks for writing, were just as important in processing my bad experience as the writing was.

This was, by no means, a quick project. As a result of this challenge, though, I have begun to think about ways I might combine images and words to document more of my life than just the experiences that need to be worked through. Luckily I don't have too awfully many of those! To simply choose a word that suggests the mood, flavor, or experience of a given day might be enough. It will be interesting to play around with some of the ideas I've had, and to share them here.

Inspire Me Thursday

Self Portrait Challenge: Introduce Yourself 2

2006-05-16T09:49:00.000-05:00

I Am.........

Serious, silly, friendly, solitary, terrified and courageous. Smart, funny, kind, caring, mean and sarcastic. Bursting with self-confidence and filled with self-loathing. My own best friend and my very worst enemy. A free spirit who too often has forgotten how to fly, a seeker longing for adventure.

Studio Friday: Robot

2006-05-12T06:56:00.000-05:00

This week's Studio Friday topic is "Robot."

Now a robot can be interpreted in many ways it could be a phone that is in your studio or your stereo,...? What robot can we find in your studio? And what does it do? Maybe you even have more than the one?

My studio robot is my 33 year old Singer sewing machine. It was how I was bribed into finishing high school. A pregnant 17 year old, newly wed, depressed and unmotivated........ Graduation was not even in my vocabulary. My robot was intended to be put to work sewing baby clothes and maternity clothes. It did the job well, and I lived up to my part of the bargain--I graduated and a week later my baby was born.

This robot has served me well over the years. I have never once given serious consideration to replacing it. My robot has been in semi-retirement, however, for a several years. In spite of years of hard use, and years of infrequent use, this robot performs as well now as 33 years ago.

SF: Robot

Five Things

2006-05-11T21:51:00.000-05:00

I've been tagged by Denise............

Five Things
five minutes to yourself: daydream
five bucks to spend right now: a quad-venti non-fat with whip white mocha from Starbucks
five items in your house you could part with: the telephone, leftovers in the fridge, the microwave, any handy-dandy kitchen gadget, curling iron
five items you absolutely,positively could never part with in your house: Bandit-the-Wonderdog; my books, my bed, my bathtub, my comfy slippers
five words you love: awesome, peace, blessings, love, gratitude

I tag........anyone who reads this!