Endings and Beginnings

So what does this photo have to do with endings and beginnings? Nothing. No, wait a second, that's not quite right. I was standing at the edge of the beach (the East side of the island of Cozumel), watching the waves roll over my feet, bringing sand and broken bits of things long lost with them. No sooner would one wave recede than another would wash up. Sometimes a wave would have just barely washed away when the next would be swirling around my feet. At other times, I seemed to be waiting, waiting, for the next wave to arrive. Some endings are subtle, others are not. Some things begin with little warning, while other times the waiting for the new beginnings is filled with the tension of anticipation.

Endings and beginnings seem to be appropriate topics for this weekend. After all, 2010 ended, and 2011 has begun. I've spent most of this weekend in bed with a bad cold, with the hours coming and going, having little awareness of time passing. I had to give it some careful thought to realize that this is the second day of the new year already. For me, the end of 2010 and the beginning of 2011 melded together in a fog of time.

I suppose lots of people give thought to endings and beginnings at this time of year. I know they certainly think a lot about beginnings--after all, what are New Year's resolutions for?

For anyone who has read my blog in the past, I'm sure it seems as though I had ended my blogging days. No, it wasn't an end, it's just been a really long pause between waves! But this, today, is a beginning, a return to blogging!

So what is it that I have been doing for the past 2+ years during this pause between waves? I struggled for well over a year with ill health that turned out to be exposure to some serious mold. In the midst of that, I made the decision to buy a house, because I had come to my quarter-century limit in my apartment. I bought the house very quickly, moved, then found myself surrounded by boxes and boxes of stuff that made me feel like a hoarder. What's one to do when one moves into a 900 sq. foot house with virtually no storage? One lives with lots and lots of boxes full of stuff while the place looks like the house of hoarders! In the meantime, one builds storage as time and money permit. And one sifts through stuff and stuff and more stuff, giving away, putting away, and throwing away. Two years and two weeks into the process of moving has left me with one small corner of the livingroom stacked with boxes. Most of the contents will begin living in the two storage cabinets that will make their way to my home in the next couple of days.

My house is actually featured in one of my long-ago posts (sometime in the Spring of '06). It is shown being put into place with a crane after being delivered on the backs of two semi's. I watched its arrival from my studio window, and watched as the finishing touches were put on it. This lot had formerly been home to a very large mid-19th century brick house that burned back in 2003. It was demolished after the fire, and the lot subsequently sold to someone who put up a little green house which was promptly put on the market. After 2-1/2 years of watching it be empty, I decided it must be meant for me!

Other than two large trees that give some shade from the late afternoon summer sun, there was absolutely nothing on this lot. The seller had done no landscaping other than having someone come with a riding mower (!) to cut the weeds every few weeks. Since living here, I have begun loving summer (not the heat or humidity, but the season in general). Once it gets warm enough to start getting outdoors, that's where I can be found any time I'm not at work. I love the long evenings of summer when I can spend several hours outdoors every day. During spring and summer, my energy goes into landscaping and yard work. Fall and winter find me indoors, working on "home improvement" projects.

I've learned not to be scared climbing a ladder to clean out gutters. I've learned how to hang shelves so they're level. I figured out how to change the "builders' grade" vanity light fixture to one that is more my taste. And I've learned about taking off baseboard without turning it to splinters. I've had the experience, with my sister's help, of building a storage shed.

Finally, after two years and two weeks into this process, I am beginning to really feel that this space is mine! Mine to enjoy, to express myself, to take care of, to live my life and love the freedom I have here.