Word Salad

Promise

That's garden dirt under those fingernails........the first of the year! By the end of summer I will have dug a half-bushel of dirt from under those nails, and scrubbed even more off my hands. Mind you, I really don't like the sensation of dirt drying on my hands, but I welcome it when it means that I've been yard work. Seeing that dirt under my nails last week gave me hope, a promise that there is more to come. More time spent outdoors than in, more time watching things grow, more time drinking in the sights and sounds and feel of my little yard. My yard. It's mine, and part of the promise is that I can (within reason) do as I wish with it.

I have collected empty wine bottles from friends and family to use as a border around one of my hosta beds. How simple to dig a trench, place the bottles upside down, leaving about 4"- 6" of the bottom above ground. Fill in the trench, and there you have it..........re-using and recycling. Because most of the bottles are colorless, I'm toying with the idea of playing around with alcohol inks before burying the bottles. It certainly calls for some experimentation!

There are many things I've planned for my yard this year..........the first will be a stone path from my porch to driveway. More ornamental grasses to landscape in front of the fence. The stone path and landscaping both mean more trips to the creek to collect rock, one of my favorite weekend activities in the Spring and Summer.

I spied this dandelion in my backyard last Monday. Seems to me that it's a bit early in the year to be seeing dandelions, but to tell the truth I've never paid close attention to typical dandelion season. I do know there are weeds that did not die over the winter, and have actually doubled in size since last Fall! Nonetheless, weeds are another piece of the promise. And, of course, evening sunlight tops my list of things that signal the beginning of life once again. To come out of dormancy, turn my face to the sun, and breath in the freshness of Spring.......these are the days that fill me with energy and excitement.

Here's to hope and the promise of Spring!

Spring Dreams

I'm sure I'm not alone in my dreams of Spring! I am weary of the cold, tired of snow, and have had my fill of cold drizzle and rain. I'm ready to shed my winter jacket, put away my boots, and feel the lightness and freedom that comes with going out in my shirt sleeves!

Thoughts of being outside, feeling the sun on my skin, digging in the dirt, watching new life spring from the earth, all fill my head these days. Knowing that such days are just around the corner makes me impatient. I have planned my garden in my head, now I want to nurture it to life. I want to walk in the woods, spend time at the creek, and breathe in the freshness of the springtime air. I am waiting to fling open the windows and doors, to air out the staleness of winter. I am............................

dreaming of spring!

How To Be Alone

A Couple of Old Guys

I had breakfast today with a couple of old guys. I usually have breakfast on Saturdays with only one old guy, my dad. We went to the usual truck stop, but all the tables were full. My dad's usual table was occupied by an old guy who invited us to sit with him. Although he had finished his breakfast, he stayed and visited with us.

It's interesting, sitting at breakfast with a couple of old guys. Apparently this guy and my dad pass the time when they run into each other at breakfast time, but have never really had a conversation. Today they talked about farming, the value of land versus gambling on the stock market, and discovered a mutual acquaintance. The other old guy lives about an hour south of the truck stop, while my dad and I live about 10 minutes away. But I wasn't surprised when we discovered that the old guy knew my great uncle many years ago..........the six degrees of separation thing, don't you know!

My dad and I have been going to breakfast just about every Saturday since last fall. I didn't know it had become a regular thing until I heard that he considers Saturday. to be "our day." Since my sister told me that, I have made it a point to keep this important date with him each week. You see, my dad is 82 and had a lot of health problems last year. He's doing much better now, with mobility problems more than anything. But last year I acknowledged the inevitability of the eventual loss of him in my life, so it's important to spend time when I can.

I wasn't close to my dad when I was growing up; he worked a lot, usually second shift, so I didn't even see him much during the week. He kept himself busy on the weekends working in his garage, hunting or fishing, or working on home improvement projects. My brother and sister had his attention and presence when he began working day shift, but by then I was out of the house. To have the chance to have a relationship with him now, to spend time together, to have "our day," is truly special. There might have been two old guys at the table this morning, but only one I really care about!

Happy Valentine's Day

A sweet Eli's Cheesecake, tiny enough to fit in a 6" x 6" box. Yummm.........made in Chicago, by hand, in small batches. Absolutely delish, and my favorite, white chocolate raspberry. Awesome!

The whole idea of this day is baffling to me. Shouldn't everyday be Valentine's Day? Why just have one day to celebrate the ones we love? And shouldn't we take some time each day to celebrate being loved? Why only one day to let people know they matter, that they're important to us, to have some romance and excitement? What if that was part of who we are, and how we are, each and everyday? Who are the people you love, and how can you let them know for the next 364 days? Who loves you, and how will you celebrate that between now and next Valentine's Day?

This is the Only Time I Have..........

I struggle, sometimes, with time. Too much of it, not enough of it, deciding what to do with it. I frequently become almost immobilized when it comes to deciding how to use my time. That doesn't mean that I don't have things I want to do.....not by any means. What often happens is that I have many things that I want and need to do, but I know I can't do everything. I get caught up in trying to decide, weighing the pro's and con's of each option. In the process, I lose time, and find that I don't have enough of it to do what I finally decided I want to do!

Sometimes time is not the issue. Sometimes the issue is lack of motivation and passion. At those times, it seems as if there is far too much time to try to fill. There is a sense of restlessness, almost boredom, as I search for something to light a spark of creativity, interest, maybe even passion.

At other times, I know exactly how I want to fill my time, but find that I have to get other things out of the way first. For instance, I would like to flank my entertainment center with shelves. My motivation to actually tackle the project, however, is interrupted by the knowledge of all the things I have to move out of the way first! Occasionally, I will clear the way for doing something, only to find that I've completely lost interest in the time it took to do the first step. This is a function of my attention deficit disorder. Even with medication, I find that I can maintain focus on something for short periods of time......even when it's something I'm highly motivated to do.

Today I want to do laundry and a few other household chores. I want to go spend some time in my office and run a couple of errands. I need to do some grocery shopping. I also need to be outdoors, moving snow so it will run downhill toward the alley as it melts, rather than running along the foundation of my house. I also need to go under the house and replace my furnace filter, and my front porch light needs to be changed. I also want some play time, making a collage or drawing.

Sometimes, like today, the solution lies in just deciding to start doing something rather than trying to prioritize. I have a feeling this will be an ADD day, bouncing from one activity to another, gradually throughout the day managing to finish most of what I start.

Maybe one of the reasons that "time" is on my mind, maybe one of the reasons I'm connecting with feelings of restlessness, is that I'm just tired of winter! I'm ready for warm weather, being able to spend seemingly endless time outdoors. I'm ready to dig in the dirt and plant things. I'm ready to fling open the windows and put away the winter coat and jacket. I'm ready for the sounds of birds and the sight of leaves budding out on the trees. I'm ready for something different from the cold and snow.

Because this is the only time I have, I will do my best today to make the most of it, whether I feel passionate and motivated or not!